Thursday, May 8, 2014

Still Alive

So I went on NoFap for 2 months! I couldn't keep the blog up to date on it because an incredible amount of change occured in my life. I got a job, a drivers license, and a girlfriend. All in this short time span.

I contribute a lot of that to NoFap. It gives a man an incredible boost to keep his power (seminal fluid) within, instead of wasting it every other day on some fucked up, disgusting illusion that is porn. I felt a lot more confident, I had a lot more energy, and my life just seemed to flow naturally in a wonderful way.

Until i 'relapsed'. This was five days ago. I immediately felt drained, and all the positive effects from my abstinence quickly faded. I was basically back to being a nervous wreck. Now everything seems infinitely harder, work is a struggle, having a harder time keeping my girl happy, and the anxiety is through the roof in comparison.

So, what to do? Obviously; get back on the train. I'll keep doing this NoFap journey until I have achieved a greater control over myself and my impulses, as well as keeping my power within meanwhile. I have no intent to live a life of fapping.


Sunday, March 9, 2014

NoFap - Week #2 Report

Yesterday marked the end of my second week on NoFap.

So, what's new?

I've been having some really, really good days the past week. Days where I felt I could accomplish anything, with high energy levels, confidence like nothing I've ever felt before, and a sensation of inner peace and calm. So that's pretty good.

However, today (day #15) I have to say I don't feel the best. I actually feel a little bit depressed. I'm not surprised though, as the recovery process from something like sex- or "PMO"-addiction will never be linear in terms of positive effects. Some days my brain will just scream for that quick dopamine hit, and just cry when it doesn't get it. That's how beating any addiction works I've found out reading research.

Below is a graph I found on, and I can totally relate to what the guy who made this is trying to show. Reboot of dopamine receptors is not a linear process to betterness, it's quite the bumpy ride. You just have to hang in there, and even on those bad days, try to do something good for yourself. Don't let your feelings control you!

Talk to you soon, friends.


Monday, March 3, 2014

NoFap - Week #1 Report

Saturday marked the end of my first week on the NoFap challenge. I'm going "hard mode", which basically means, no porn, no masturbation, and no orgasms.

So far, this is what I've noticed in terms of mental changes.

  • A LOT more energy
  • More easily irritated
  • More drive to do things that otherwise might be procrastinated upon (school work, chores etc)
  • Increased sociability
  • Better sleep. Even if I only sleep 6 hours, I'll wake up refreshed.

So far so good. I don't have any difficulties resisting urges so far. I have yet not decided what do do about sex with my girlfriend though, as she comes home from her vacation abroad in a couple of days. The best thing would be not to have sex at all, but it might be more or less inevitable.

Reporting again on my NoFap journey on the coming Saturday, which marks week #2.


Sunday, March 2, 2014

WW3 upon us?

I have to let this blog, and myself, go a little in the next couple of days - possibly weeks - as it seems the world stands on the brink of a possible global political disaster.

  • Putin and Russia are on the way of invading Ukraine
  • Obama says this will have "serious consequences"
  • G-8 meeting unofficially cancelled
Do you think Obama's fruitless threats will have any effect on Putin? Of course not! Putin has balls, huge ones. Me, sitting in Sweden, I am worried. This conflict might escalate really quickly. The world, and particularly Europe, is in a stressed state right now. People are already anxious. When extra pressure is put on a region already this wired, things tend to go haywire.

Is this it? Is this the final stand between Uncle Sam and the Russian Bear? Is this the beginning of WW3? It's very possible...

I will follow this conflict with great interest, and you should to. Give the next top models, and Bear Grylls a break, this is where it's really happening.

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Experiment: NoFap

What's up my friends. I can say with confidence that I have sucessfully beat Social Anxiety, at least to great extent. I realize that I may always feel the symptoms of social anxiety on occassion, but I know how to ultimately deal with them, and not let the now diminishing disorder control my life any more.

I am on the road to becoming my own man!

As sort of a continuation on that track of becoming more self confident, more sucessful, and really - more ME! I have decided to go on a 90 day NoFap streak. If you don't yet know what the NoFap movement is, I suggest you head over to and , and get educated. So far I have gone 5 days.

I will report continually on the benefits and possible hardships of this experiment of body and mind, but I do believe this is a train that men in general should jump onto.

Regarding me beating social anxiety, I will make a longer post (or series of posts) in the near future summarizing everything I have gone through, as well as the steps I have taken to free myself from the shackles that is anxiety.


Sunday, December 15, 2013

Tears of Gratitude towards the Yogscast

As I watched this youtube video I could not keep myself from crying. I don't know when last time I cried was, I'm a soon to be 20yr old manly man for God's sake!

But man, the Yogscast has really helped me through some tough times, along with other great youtubers like Totalbiscuit and Jesse Cox.

As I saw this video, I came to realize that I may actually owe these silly, lovable goons my life.


Sunday, December 8, 2013

Questions and Answers

I get a lot of questions sent to me on my email, which in case you are wondering is shown in the right side menu, and I have to say that it is kind of inconvenient and inefficient to respond to the same question a hundred of times to different people. Therefore I have decided to announce a Q&A.

Here's how it's going to work. If you have any questions at all, either about me or about social anxiety, depression, depersonalization or derealization, please do post them in a comment to this post, and I will answer them at a later date in a detailed fashion in a blog post. You can comment anonymously, so do not worry about embarassing yourself or putting yourself 'out there'.

Love you all,